Random Ramblings

Am I really that messy..?

Everyone who has seen my room has been like "OMG WHY DO YOU HAVE THIS MUCH STUFF HOW DO YOU MOVE OR WORK?" And, uh... I've been getting along pretty well. I guess my point of reference is my old room, in which I could only get to my bed, and I worked, slept, and read, everything there. So THIS is a great improvement - I have a desk to work at, and shelves and places for my things, and some room to spread out... It's nice.

The only thing I need to fix is this stupid table by my window which is not making itself useful at all, because I pile things on it. If I clean that off, I'll be good to go with working, and it'd be a pretty quick fix, I'm just lazy.

It's just funny seeing everyone's reactions to it. XD I guess one man's normal is another's abnormal, huh?

With Tina Fey and Amy Poehler Nah, just me.

Cookies, Cleaning, Quibbling, Phoenix Wright, and Brawl. That's about it. :D
AND MY BOOKSHELF!!! KAJSGIGOADFGJ!!! YES!!! IT IS UP!!! And I put books on it today. :B (Monday)

These aren't too long. I think. : | ?

( Friday )
( Saturday )
( Sunday )

[Written...Tuesday morning, I believe.]
TO STAFFORD!

---New year's presents, Burn After Reading, Food, and ICE SKATING!!!!!---
( SATURDAY~! )

---Yay, quarrelling, taking down Christmas Tree, and NOT CLEANING MY CLOSET. And then writing to myself. (don't worry, it's not written on here.)---

( ...Sunday... )

And now, here to astound you all, is Seir, with one of her (patents pending) EpicPosts©

Here is part one- Sunday December 21, 2008 through Wednesday December 24, 2008.

Sunday: ( Cleaning, cleaning, and religious emo ramblings. Goals in life.... )


Monday:( Visions and Family arguments )


Tuesday:( Notes on life, Sean revelation, the beginning of the sickness onslaught, Flashdance and Cleaning. )



( And Wednesday (really short) )


I severely apologize. D: And there's more! D8

Looks like I'm back on the daily-update track. :D Sorry about all that. But hey, it's how I keep in touch. ;D
Hmm... let me sort through the nonsense I wrote today.... D:

I made plans for today... at like, 5 in the morning. XD
( What a schedule looks like to me. )
( Then, I went BATSHIT at myself. Seriously. GAH. )

( Then, I chronicled my day. Pretty blah blah. It was alright. Not very productive. )

( THEN, I went on the internet. I wrote about the rest of my evening, and the state of my brain - which is not good- and postulated why.... Then, I went batshit AGAIN because it took nearly an HOUR to load a 10 MB image up on DA, and I'm really REALLY fucking tired. >:[ )

In brighter, more constructive news, MY VIDEO IS UP!!! :D
I WOKE UP THIS MORNING AND IT WAS UPLOADED!!! THANK GOD!!!

And, I'm now taking SKETCH COMMISSIONS!!! http://seira-chan33.deviantart.com/journal/22025882/
For more details, go to the respective sites. : ]

... Though, I don't know who'd want to commission someone so OBVIOUSLY batshit. I'm making a real great case for myself, yeah? D: At least it's not on DA.... But still. HRRRRRN.
I promise, if you commission me, I'll take it SUPER FUCKING SERIOUSLY. XD Honestly, I will. I'm not going to mess around with people...

Eh, I'd better stop while I'm ahead.

I hope you guys are doing better than I am. I really do. D:
... Please don't worry about me though. I'm ranting and raving right now. I'm going to try and get my shit together, starting with some sleep in about a half an hour. I'm just bleeding and starving mentally, physically, emotionally, partly on my own fault, partly not. Wait, yeah, it is all my fault. WTF. What am I saying. AND DUH, THAT'LL MAKE YOU WORRY MORE, AAAH. (I'm not cutting, just my uterus is having fun times... oi. Blood loss, cramps, and hormones. FUN.) Anyway. I've seen the error of my ways, and since I don't want to feel so motherfucking horrible, I'll get a grip on myself. I'm just full of seething hate to still be AWAKE. DAMMIT.
Ugh, I feel disgusting.

I really hope Eva... didn't do this to me- because of course, everything right now is being seen through an EVA FILTER lol... It made me think, sure. That's not bad. I think, it's the combination of lack of structure and exercise, now that school is out, and the stress of things I put off compounding upon me, finally. And my period. And my house. And not eating enough. It's not the thinking that's getting to me, oddly- it's my INABILITY to think. My basic functioning is failing. I need to fix that. I will...

Ok, now off I go. I'll report how TODAY goes tomorrow... hopefully, better. D8
*EDIT!* THE SISTER GOT UP YAY I CAN HAS SLEEP NOW!!!

WHAT'S SHAKIN'?

As you can see, I've been doing a lot of thinking and writing. Sorry about that.
This is also the first time I've honestly been on the internet in like, 2 weeks, or maybe not, but it's seemed like a damn long time.

This was the response THAT prompted:
( RAAAAAAAAAAAAAEGGG!!! )
AHAHA.

In other news-

I finished all of my finals, thank GOD. My animation final is DONE- finally. XD
I'm pretty proud of it. BUT MY GOD INTERNET IS SLOW GAAAAAAAAH I WISH I COULD SHOW IT TO YOU ALL.

Watched ALLL of the end of Evangelion - the last six episodes, AND the movie- but y'all already know about that. ; ]
Prompting a whole day of thinking. XD

I looked into Buddhism a bit. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buddhism XD I think I'm somehow a Buddhist without realizing it. I swear, it's one religion I actually agree with, and that hasn't gone batshit. Though, there are sects that make up a bunch of shit. Like 'Pure Land' buddhists, who think if you pray to the Buddha Amitabha that you'll go to some great realm... *shakes head* whatever...

But... yeah. I'd need to look into it more, but... yeah. I'm thinking more along the lines of the Theraveda Buddhists (as opposed to Mahayana) because they try to stay close to canon... XD

Some interesting things I learned, though-
( BLAHBLAHBLAH COPYPASTA, ETC. )

I just find it odd that I've taken this long to find something that makes sense.
But, I don't know if I should totally go for it, since... I don't know. I believe in the philosophies, mostly, but I also question them- but that's part of the philosophy, so.... XD LOLWUT.

I also have no idea if and how you would practice it, if there's a... temple? around here? Or what. 0_o

Also, I feel so WHIIIITE. Like one of these retards thinking 'oh I'll be buddhist cuz it's trendy.' NO. NOO!!! XD

I also wonder if Buddhist values have crept into my life via anime. XD It's possible.

ANYway...
SO.

ALSO, on Saturday night, I got to talk to my mom about some of the stuff in that whole 'Value' entry back there, and... yeah. I realized that... it's just, I don't always think she cares... because she's griping at me, or whatnot. But, in the end, that's just because she does love and care about me, about us. It's how she shows it.

My dad... XD We both were just pretty much like 'WTF' about him. So I don't know.
I think, though, things are going actually OK. It's just, the two of us aren't home very much, so we're like 'what's going on?' lol. XD And, my mom and my sister are getting closer- out of necessity by me not being there so much. So she's realizing mom isn't an ogre, and they can do stuff together too. In a way, it's good, then. I'm passing the torch, so that when I move, everyone will be alright. : ]

So... things are looking up? Sort of?

Except we don't know what dad's problem is. XD I think, we decided, I'll just have to make an effort with him, in the future, in order to get him to talk to me. XD Ah well...

Yesterday, I looked for jobs in the paper. I want to look up more on these 'work from home' things, sewing, or painting or whatnot. The number I called wanted you to buy some directory, but I called shenanigans. So more research is in order.

I went to Crystal's to check out her cat, and get told what to do to watch her. <3 AW COWLAAA. SO CUUTE. I WILL TAKE CARE OF YOUUUU.

And then I came home, put away my laundry I'd neglected for WEEKS, ate dinner, and wrote some more.... XD

Slept on the couch like a dork... then got up at like 1 AM.... XD

Today, I worked on getting my sketch commission stuff set up. It's nearly ready to go... : ] And I found out all I have to do is take the driving test and show I've had my learner's for 30+ days in order to get a license. XD AWESOME!

I was also GOING to go to some job fair about a factory job, it sounded like? But mom was asleep, and was saying she didn't know if I'd like to do shift work. Which, during school, that would be a concern... but I still wanted to check it out.
Then I fell asleep again from... noon to four? Three? D8 So there went that. :/

I worked on my drawing I did for one of my finals, since my parents want to clean up a bunch of the stuff I was drawing to set up for christmas. I got it mostly done- will finish....

Watched Invader Zim, ate spaghetteh. :B NOM. And I GOT TO USE TEH INTERNET LOLZ.

YEAY.

Ugh, I want to randomly draw Eva and Naruto fanart, and color with copics, but I know I have so much shit to do gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. And CHRISTMAS MY LORD YOU SNEAKY BASTARD. I have so much to doooooooo.... D:

Ah well, enough complaining. : ] I'll just keep chugging away at it...
The stress is building up and getting me frazzled. I need to just see what to do, and do it. Oi....... I'll try. <: ]

SO!
Tomorrow night, the KI department is having their 'Show Your Stuff Nite'- 5-8 PM in the basement of that-building-in-which-we-have-classes. XD The Terrace. ANYway, there's supposed to be FREE FOOD there, and the projects I've done for my animation class are going to be shown, along with my classmates' work, and... whatever else people decide to put in. XD I've heard rumors about a projection out in front of the building too. 8D

So, if you can come, that would be AWESOME. This is... pretty much the first show I've ever shown in! XD AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!! I can only come for the first hour because I have class from 6-8 [le sniff] but yeah...
Meant to post about this sooner, but I forgot. D8 So sorry... But I thought I'd give you guys a heads up tonight instead of tomorrow, you know?

AWESOMMMME!!!! XD

( Here, have some hyper-crazy. I rant about cool stuff happening, driving, movies, Eva, ETC. ETC. READ ETTTTTT. XD ... Upon rereading it, I see that I think something in my mind must have busted. There is no sane excuse for that many 'AHAHAHAHA's and 'AWESOME's... XD )

SO COME TO SHOW YOUR STUFF NITE IF YOU CAN KTHXBYE.

Today was INSANE.

OK, first of all, parents have been cleaning our back porch - it's enclosed, but has screen windows, so everything was either covered in mold or dust, and there were ant infestations and huge spiders...! And they rented a Uhaul, to get stuff out.
Some stuff got completely ruined, and a lot of other stuff was toys my mom bought to sell on eBay and is now sick of seeing, so off they went to Goodwill.
Our backyard is full of boxes. D:

I stayed up WAAAAY too late last night, and so I ended up getting up at 3 FUCKING PM. WHAT THE FUUUCK. And so... yeaah... they went to the goodwill about then. They said the people were just throwing the boxes around. D: Dad had to tell them there was breakables in there (like pottery.)
And they wouldn't take the burgundy armchair that I was GOING to keep, but decided not too. XD It was too ratty for them. And mom was talking about mold on it, maybe, but now it's back on our porch. WHAT. XD

Had McDonald's for lunch...

I did my part and did dishes for... probably 2 hours (with a break) and made coffee. XD The dishes were piling up BAD with everyone working on the porch...

Oh, and we finally found Charmin' Chatty! XD She was in a bag out there with another doll. WHY, no one remembers - we suspect it was christmas... XD
( PIKTURRR )
She's the blonde one on the left, joining her new sister finally. 8D She looks... so smug about it. XD I made her glasses out of wire. : P Both need some work, though. XD

BUT something horrible happened. D: Apparently, my parents dropped more stuff off at a second goodwill after it had closed, and when they went back later to put some boxes in their recycling, all the stuff they had put there was GONE. Somebody fucking stole it. D:
It was just some toys, some pottery, some clothes (?) not a whole lot...
OH YEAH, AND OUR OLD COMPUTER.
WHAT THE FUCKING HELL.
( SECURITY FEELS COMPROMISED. )

HUGH, but, in good news, mom got those damn boxes out of my room!!! SO, I got my sister's toy box out of my room, put my Kirsten doll's trunk at the end of my bed, rearranged some things, pulled a bag of dolls OUT of my sister's room, reorganized old school papers (well, rebalanced the boxes of them... sorta? and then proceeded to do battle with THESE goddamn things:

THESE ARE THE GODDAMN BUGS. I HATE THEIR FUCKING SQUIRMY GUTS.
YOU KNOW WHERE THEY'VE BEEN BECAUSE THEY LEAVE CASINGS EVERYWHERE.
SO CREEPY.
( EPIC BATTLE WITH EVIL BUGS, WITH PIKTURRS TOO. )

SO, after all that excitement... XD
I HAVE TO DRAW HOMEWORK!!!
JOY!!!
BECAUSE I WORKED FOR 4 HOURS YESTERDAY AND STILL DIDN'T GET IT DONE!!!
AND MY OBSESSIVENESS WITH THESE BUGS THREW ME OFF FOR A COUPLE HOURS!!!!
YESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!
< /sarcasm >

Oh man. Life sure is interesting.

Ok... in the past few days...

( ...I've done all this too. )

DISORDER DISORDER
DX
I didn't realize how much of it there was until I tried to get everthything together for tomorrow.
I'm fucked in the "getting up" category, I just know it.
Alright, enough spam, back to getting it ordered...

Hey. I think I got a glossy screen on my computer somehow... I asked for matte...?

FAST INTERNET IS BACK YESSSSSSSS.
( How the rest of my day went. Because I have no life, I'm up, and I'm feeling ranty. >_> )

FUCK YOU dial-up.
Ah well, I should be thankful I have at least that.
But you are SOOOO SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW. DX
WHYYYY are you so slow???

----
This just scared the fuck out of me:
http://vert-is-ninja.deviantart.com/journal/19949456/
OH GREAT. HACKERS.

HOW DO I PREVENT SHIT FROM HAPPENING TO ME??? I FORGOT WOW = MILLIONS OF USERS WHICH = HACKHACKHACK OPPORTUNITY.

I don't want my new baby catching some godawful virus, or have my shit taken... That's like giving a baby AIDS and bugging it to find out its mom's SSN. HORRIBLE. D:

----
Now that my bed is clean, and I don't have a lightbox taking up space on it, I'm even LESS likely to get out of it. I have to start school in a week. FUCK.
I don't even know WHEN I need to get up, or how I'm getting there.

I'm so happy I'm going back to see people and learn shit again, but I also know that now I won't have a spare moment to myself - and my room's a hell-hole, and everyone now wants me to put everything I own into it. And my other summer projects aren't done.

----
Erin's getting fucked over by housing AGAIN. GODDAMN THEM. I hope it all works out...

----
( rant ensues )
----
I guess I should try to have a positive outlook. This really is a list of silly things I'm whining about. I guess it's just they're a lot of shitty little things annoying the HELL out of me. Having to resort to dial-up was just the last straw that provoked a rant...
But hey, rants are what the internet is FOR!
That and LULZ, apparently.

At least I'm not getting shot at. :D

I mean in real life, not the game. But yeah.
Put that up today before I was forced into dial-up hell.

... goddammit, it's 4 o'clock.

I'M ALIVE.

AGGH SO MUCH TO WRITE NO TIME.
need to start getting to bed. >_> At a decent hour, that is.

Tuesday = all-time low, got up at 3:30. PM. But I did go to bed at 7 AM. >_>
So I didn't get much done at all besides some dishes.
AND SOME MGS3 OMG I WANT TO WRITE ABOUT THAT.
BEAT FIRST BOSS AND CRAB-BATTLE AREA AND OMG CROC CAP!!!! XD XD XD
And tranqing EVERYBODY.
Ohohoho, soooooooooooo funny.
Especially tranqing the bosses, so I don't have to face them. D8

So after all that fun I got up by 1 today [WOW IMPRESSIVE NOT.] and after chilling like everyone else for awhile I got bashed about not doing something about the room since dad wanted to go to bed dramadramadrama. But he said he'd help out so I started moving shit and AAAA! Bed got moved!!!!
And bed had massive dip in it because the water was... evaporating? out of the tubes. They refilled it and it's SOOOOOOOO much better...
So in the space of 3 hours, I had my room back!!! THANK YOU FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!
And my sister had hers!
Except... now she looks like she has more room in her room now. XD And I have ZERO floor space. It's a bed in a sea of stuff, and it's really tweaking out my OCD. XD But... I guess it'll be ok. I just gotta clean one thing at a time...
Like move my doll stuff... then clear a space for where the bookshelf goes, and put books over there... or maybe I should make the shelf first? No....

I found 2 pairs of slippers, and that I had WAY more stuffed animals than I imagined down the sides of my bed (2 trashbags full) and that apparently my drool was making this mattress-topper dealio I had get orange spots. EEW. All my stuff, like my comforter especially, had this layer of dinge on it, and so it's ALL in the laundry. I had a new comforter I'd never used that we got at a thrift store (NEW!) and so yaaay new sheets...

Picture forthcoming.


COMPUTER IS SHIPPING NOW!!! IT'S AT FEDEX!!! Where, though, I don't know... They say it'll be here between now and next Tuesday. I hope it's on the sooner end of the spectrum. : /


I'm gonna reply to messages and the RP for now, and go through journals tomorrow. D: My computer's being slow and it's late and I need to shower. D:


And HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERIN!!! XD I'm working on your present, be it in a lame sort of way. I have to go to CVS and get something for it, hopefully they'll have it... : /

Hey, what do you guys think of this?

http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,2817,2307499,00.asp

We have an Epson, and it's a dear... kinda slow, but I really like the photos I HAVE printed on it. So I'm hoping this machine can do the same, if not faster.

Ink's gonna be an arm and a leg, though. >X [ $54-57 to replace everything. It has four cartridges, though, so HOPEFULLY you won't run into some of the issues we have with the current one - like it not printing at all when it deems the color to be too low. D:

It supposedly uses like, SUPER ink too, that doesn't smudge and all that.

Epson? Epson? XD Good brand?

Rek has a Lexmark... Erin? Suggestions?

1200ppi and 48-bit color good enough in a scanner??

... It sounds like a good machine, according to the review.

.... and besides, it's one sexy piece of machinery. XD
------------
I got most of the cleaning I can do alone in my room done today, lots of sorting, dusting, shoving things to one side of the room... XD
Em's going over to a friend's house on Wednesday, and will sleep over, so that means we're all going to move the bed THEN - while she's GONE - so she won't gripe at us and be having a fit. I'll be doing enough of that already! XD

Dad made stir-fry for dinner, an excuse to whip out the chopsticks! XD He made his from a bag of vegetables and some chicken we had, instead of one of those all-in-the-bag deals like I can make, and it made a lot more....
Yerm!

And my stomach hated me this morning - dunno if it's the fact that I had a donut, a MINI donut, and some Doritos for breakfast/lunch, or something else.... XD

And of course, I had a dose of MGS... XD

And FUCK YES!!! The money finally POSTED to my account JUST NOW!!! OH YESSSSSSSS!!!! XD
Aw, should I order it now?
Right now?
I should.
Let's go. XD

And the girl selling the Macbook shell wrote me back - so it's still for sale after all! I should write her back. XD

Daily Post:
Queen Rocks My Socks
The Quest to CVS (aka, I got out today.)
Kernkraft 400's origins
DON'T STAND SO CLOSE TO ME
8 Years of HELL
Fire in the Hole

It was an eventful day, in a way, but I still didn't get a heck of a lot done. :/

( CLICKY ME! )


OH, and the money's now "Processing" but it says it's in my "available" balance... but I'm not going to order it until it's actually "posted," just to be safe. [PARANOID]

Some random things floating in my deluded, sleep-deprived thoughtmeats.
( Click for Light Yagami, Pheonix Wright, Opera Music, and snippets of me whining. )

I sometimes find, and I am sure you know the feeling, that I simply have too many thoughts and memories crammed into my mind. ... At these times ... I use the Penseive. One simply siphons the excess thoughts from one's mind, pours them into the basin, and examines them at one's leisure. It becomes easier to spot patterns and links, you understand, when they are in this form."
- Albus Dumbledore.

Never were truer words spoken... XD
-----------

Let's see... Well, I'm slowly working through the Potter's...
rather, The Goblet of Fire...
I spent most of today pondering PVC furniture, shopping at Michael's for finger puppet supplies (and having mom get all distracted all over the place! XD ) and then going to Lowe's AND Home Depot and looking at things - Good news? Pipe is cheap, and I found boards PERFECT for both shelves and desktops. Bad news? Tee-shaped fititngs are $1.04 APIECE. And I need lots of them...
Did the math, and the bookcase will run me $70, the desk $30 something, and the shelf OVER the desk $10-15. Good prices on everything but the goddamned bookshelf. DX $26 of that is fittings ALONE, and another $30 for the shelves- 5 at $6 a pop... But hey, it'll work...

Wondering if I should figure out a chair, or if anything I make would be horrible to sit in for hours at a time, and I should just look in thrift stores...

Holding off on even thinking of the bed until later. My current bed will do me fine. I think I'm going to coerce the sister into helping me clean up in her room so I can move it...

God, it's scary to think of moving that thing.

On the other hand, I've almost totally gotten over my fear of cleaning. I've realized it RARELY is as bad as it looks, and if you just dig a little beneath the surface, it's actually quite easy to sort through... which is nice. Found my copy of "Fantastic Creatures and Where to Find Them" last night, and was well pleased...

And I can see my FLOOR again! OHMIGOD!
------------

And then there's this.

Beauty and the Beast Unit



"They're Beauty and the Beast. They weren't even soldiers to begin with, you know. More like victims of war. They suffered shell-shock on the battlefield. Post traumatic. It damaged their minds pretty much beyond repair. So the only way they could cope with the reality of battle was to become war machines themselves. The remnants of their human side are buried deep within. The beast... That's what you see on the outside."

Laughing Octupus
Screaming Mantis
Crying Wolf
Raging Raven


(for a bigger, better look ---> http://image.com.com/gamespot/images/2007/235/926596_20070824_screen016.jpg )
(For CHOICE images of all the girls, here ---> http://www.gconsole.com/cgi-bin2/show.php?page=news&id=4671 )

WATCH THIS TRAILER: http://www.gametrailers.com/player/23950.html

...
Holy SHIT I want to play this now...

Oh Metal Gear Solid, you NEVER cease to amuse me. Why can't I seem to fucking work up the nerve/time to play youuuuu???? XD

I found this thanks to Erin talking about how there's this lady in MGS4 who has dolls of Psycho Mantis and The Sorrow, and uses them to control people... and I was interested, and looked them up. SURPRISE! There's a unit of weird badass chicks in mechanical suits with mental issues. 8D

I'm sorry, but damn, this is sexy. XD

They're all so FUNNY too... I know they're probably not supposed to be, but you've got a "wolf" lumbering around sobbing, a "raven" screaming "RAEG!!!" all the time *my favorite* and octupus chick laughing maniacally. But screaming mantis seems so composed... and that bow was just... nice...

It's so... odd. MGS4 looks like a straight-up "shoot people in the desert" sort of thing, but then you get cow-bots and robot-soldiers and ninjas and vampires and... it boggles the mind. ^_^ In SUCH a good way... aw man...

And seeing this game in person, instead of on Youtube? in all its hi-def glory?

**8D**

Priceless...

-----------
Also... That quote... I guess the girls struck a chord with me, because that quote up there would describe Ms. Mord to a tee. That's...almost EXACTLY her case... So hearing that after JUST finishing polishing up her bio... was bizarre, to say the least.

And the RP is GOING!!! XD Excited as all hell. Sorry I didn't get it sooner... I'll be sure to leave the window open and check when I can. I'm now signed in "Forever," lol. XD
HERE ---> http://shadowcouncilserver.proboards104.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=rp&thread=18&page=1 :3
-----------
Also, fangirl squeals go off in my heart every time I remember I'm actually going to see MSI. XD I forget, then I remember, and then I'm so goddamned happy. XD

I didn't do much today. Cleaned the hamster cage, washed dishes, ate, watched Project Runway.

I got up at 10, and dad was STILL bitching at me. Which makes me want to crawl further into my bed and hide because I always feel like that when people are mad at me. I thought I was making an improvement, but apparently he disagrees. And fuck, I'll get up late tomorrow too, judging by the hour, and fuckfuckfuck.

But, however, I had a good idea... and I'm working on it...
I'm thinking of getting a new bed, since a) I need a new mattress and b) I want one of those loft beds so I can have a deskcave and maximize roomspace. I need to look at the unfinished furniture mart, because that way, hopefully I can save some money, and get a blank canvas to work with.

Of course, I have no idea how I'm going to pay for it. Hopefully mom will be generous?

But I say canvas, because I thought I could paint it. I got the idea thanks to Jhonen Vasquez's nifty flickr http://www.flickr.com/photos/scolex/ where I found this. http://www.flickr.com/photos/scolex/2611992668/in/set-72157605795144584/

That's fucking PAINTED ON A DESK. (click for more on the left there.) So that gave me the idea to do something. Thing is, what?

Well, I figured out an aesthetic I really like. It's a mixture of all this shit:
( but it's AWESOME shit. )

So, I think it's a black/gray/dingy, spindly, complex, flowy aesthetic, kinda nervous, I guess in a way. Gothic, maybe. I dunno. It's weeeeeird. And I don't know what to do with it.

An idea I had was taking the edges, and making a border that looked like thin strips of wood with screws in it, and then have the space between be a sort of trompe-l'oeil thing, where it looked like a bunch of circuitry or vines or some such craziness.

I tested it out, and one method I thought of using was crosshatching. (which would require about a hundred fine point sharpies and patience of steel) I did a screw that looked amazing, but other designs that were just meh. I like the neurotic quality it lends, though.

I think the problem is, I totally fail at drawing decorative designs. Which SUCKS because I want to draw them. Fuck. So that means I'll study the stuff I found tonight, I suppose.

I'm thinking of making it an ongoing project, though, since I do NOT have the patience to sit there and do it in one go. So I'll set up the bed and draw on it gradually. Should be interesting.

ARRGH why do I come up with such complex ideas all the time?! XD Oh well. I want shit like this in my room, though.

Oh yeah, I took down this mobile I had in my room for probably a decade today. It.. really made the room feel more spacious...

OK!
I'm going to try writing this in like, 10 minutes. GOOOO.

Well, I'm alright, I've been cleaning. I've cleaned off 4 shelves on this giant metal shelf, and filled 3 of them with craft stuff, like I wanted. Except, I don't know what to put on the rest of it, since I have WAAAAAAAAAAAAY too much fabric to fit on one shelf, but... argh
and I have no idea what to do with paints and shit.

Whhaaaaat.

But yeah, I'm ok...

I talked with mom last night, and I think I've conceded she's right, about shit, even though I don't want to admit it. X [ ARghagihafiogjkbcnv. emoemoemo. I fail in the shadow of her having more life experience. -_-'''''''

Anyway.

Didn't go for a walk yesterday, so now I'm all agaiodgjoadfsg again. So I'll goooo...

I have a serious problem with throwing shit out. DX I need to get over that. And having a whole ton of my sister's and mom's stuff in my room doesn't help. Especially when they don't have time/aren't willing to help....
But I'm doing better.
And the DUST IN THERE OMG OMG...

Dreams:

( weirdness... )

So yeah. I'm gonna go for a walk. Erk...

Took me 20 minutes. Not bad...

Ok, now if you're looking for a glimpse into how depression feels like, check the last post. :D But if you want to find out how I'm doing TODAY, then.... check this.

7:38 PM
Errmmmmm...
Duh.

They had Hellboy on AGAIN - Yay, the family can watch it now. : P - and... duh. Liz says that. John's all "What can I do??" and she says "Hit me."
"What?"
"HIT ME!"
*slap*
*fwoom fire*

weeeiiird. XD


Man, that movie is pretty darned cool. It's funny and serious and awesome and yadayada. XD
It also realllly makes me want to draw more ridiculously elaborate clothes, and shit. And then I remembered "I've got demons. :D" And Vince. But yeah...
I did sketches of how Trigger might look in a more "official" form, in a Russian sort of caftan or something, with longer hair. And then this morning...
Yeah...
Trigger doesn't really look like what he appears to be. He can change his appearance. He REALLY... looks like a sort of dragon-ish monster thing. XD With dark gray skin, pointy ears, a shock of gray hair, a tiny nose... etc. That's also why his amulet is on such a long chain - it's so it still fits when he's a monster...

And I'm TOTALLY just learning more things about this guy as I go along...

Yeah...

And I thought to myself last night "why don't I ever have cool dreams. Like if I was in Hellboy or something."
And guess whaaat? 8D
I did! XD( DREAM SEQUENCE!!! 8D )


I was still feeling emo this morning, and kept falling back asleep. I'd sit up, then just fall over. I finally got up by 1 PM, ate some cereal, watched some of those "A Haunting" shows, and kinda looked around my room. The frustration was mounting, and I had to do something before I went apeshit on something.

I got dad up at 4 like he asked, and asked if I could go for a walk. "Yeah sure."

It was that fuckin' easy?!?!

I just got outside, and it was like THANK GOD. It was so nice to get out. I could even probably go to Taco Bell or something one day. But I just walked around my block, jogged for a couple minutes, stretched, came back inside, and took a shower.

I feel 100 TIMES BETTER. XD SOOOOO much better. XD XD XD

And I've got sorta a plan for my room. I've discerned that its all either toys, craft/art supplies, books, or old school papers. That's all I fucking have in my room. XD And some art projects themselves. All I need to do now is go through it all, and come up with some sort of organizational system.
Ughhh....

But it'll get done! I know it!

WAAAAH I'm so happy to be so much more positive!!!!!!! XD XD XD