Random Ramblings

Argh. After 4 hours of work, grocery shopping, and a 40 minute bike ride (to test out a route), I'm... just BEAT. DX Augh, so stupid. I totally screwed myself over with that damn 2 hour tour the other day. XD BLAR.
Good side is, Mom says I'll get used to it. I sure hope so.
I just felt a lot more shaky on my bike today, and I felt every bump in the road... I don't know if it's because I was trying riding with my lock bungeed on to the back (because of more weight) or if it was that I was tired, or if I knocked something out of place when I went over this one bump (because it felt fine after I hit that bump again XD) of if I didn't warm up, or maybe the road was just bumpier. XD I think it's all of the above.
Augh.

Also, yesterday I was thrown onto the drive-thru window at work, so I had to learn that. D: SO hectic. At least this other guy was taking the orders- I just made change and handed out food. Today, however, was SUPER slow, and I was assigned to clean- EVERYTHING. I swept the dining room like 3 times, wiped the tables on rotation, cleaned windows, learned how to do dishes... XD Lucky me, though, I got off 10 minutes early, actually... And, I met the dreaded district manager. XD He was nice to me, but he doesn't know me, either... I've heard horror stories. D:

Gar. I can only hope that I can recover. I'm probably working my body too hard, now. God, I just need to figure out a balance - because I want to build up my strength, and endurance for work and biking, but if I keep at this pace, I'll just murder myself in the process, and that's not gonna help!
AGH. XD

I guess, I'm just a mess of finding out my shortcomings lately, and I'm not liking it too much. XD I try to keep a positive self-image, a can-do, I can do anything I set my mind to, I'm beautiful and smart and talented and awesome, attitude, and reality is kicking me in the ass everywhere I go. T^T So I guess, I want to be as awesome as I wish I was... *sigh* So I'm trying to work at it, only to prove I'm ultra-fail.

I can't even play MGS3 worth shit anymore. XD But I think that's just because I'm out of practice. So, me hunting all those small animals yesterday has a purpose!!! It does!!!
D8! I'm going to have to play more often, so my food doesn't go bad!!!!!! DDDD8
Hm, motivation. : ]

Also, reading FMA makes me want to get back to the Envy costume... I just need to find appropriate patterns. I want it to be a swimsuit~ so I'm going to have to learn how to sew that material~...
And figure out how to make that top so that it closes smoothly, because it would honestly not go over my head.
Also, need to figure out that fucking insane wig. GAH, human hair doesn't do that. D: I'm seriously considering making it out of another material. Like fake leaves, since I've heard people snickering on the internet that he's a palm tree. XD
And I need to pay a visit to the hardware store, and the military surplus store, for my Pyro costume. GOD I want to make that flamethrower so bad. XD Hey, you think I can get a big thing of pretzels at like, the dollar store? Where do they sell those at?
8|... So much to do, so little physical capability. XD

And sorry for the long post. I figure, I haven't posted in awhile, so I can post more than normal, yeah? XD I'll stop it if I keep it up, or if you have complaints - feel free to comment if you do. XD

Last post today, I swear. XD

I fangirl-rambled last night about FMA, after seeing that OPENING!!! OMIGOD IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL. XD
So have my rambling in all its glory.... XD

From yesterday:
In other, actually GOOD news, Erin's been reading FMA, which has reminded me of HOW MUCH I LOVE THAT SERIES. XD I watched what I did of it in a pretty large chunk, so it didn't stay an obsessive fandom, though... but now that I need to read it, and it's STILL RUNNING that means I may just become an FMA fantard ALL OVER AGAIN. XD

AND THERE'S A NEW SERIES AND IT LOOKS GORGEOUS OMAGAWD. XD I really, REALLY like how it looks just from the opening. [look up FMA: Brotherhood Opening - the song is by Yui and called [again]- it keeps getting taken down from youtube by Sony, which owns the song. : \ ] The animation is so gorgeous and the song is so damn catchy!!!

OH MAN OH MAN. NERD LEVELS RISING. XD
( Proceeds to ramble about me wanting to do my Envy cosplay again, why I love FMA, my views on the seven deadly sins, and getting back to my exercise routine!! XD )

... I sound slightly, um, mentally not right. XD I rambled WAAY too much in that. XD Sorry.
And somehow despite all of this rambling, I got studying done... XD But I really do need to focus. 0_o
On the positive end, working out has made me feel a lot better actually. I think I need to stick to it, for sanity's sake. XD

I went for a run, AND I got homework done!
But I pulled a couple muscle and I didn't get any sleep. XD I really need to work on balance...

( An elaboration of the above. XD But that's really the moral of the story, there. )
And hey, today I got all my homework/studying done too! So I'm pretty effing happy, actually, about that... XD
Oh, and my legs are feeling better. They feel better as I use/stretch/walk on them. : ]

Ok, now if you're looking for a glimpse into how depression feels like, check the last post. :D But if you want to find out how I'm doing TODAY, then.... check this.

7:38 PM
Errmmmmm...
Duh.

They had Hellboy on AGAIN - Yay, the family can watch it now. : P - and... duh. Liz says that. John's all "What can I do??" and she says "Hit me."
"What?"
"HIT ME!"
*slap*
*fwoom fire*

weeeiiird. XD


Man, that movie is pretty darned cool. It's funny and serious and awesome and yadayada. XD
It also realllly makes me want to draw more ridiculously elaborate clothes, and shit. And then I remembered "I've got demons. :D" And Vince. But yeah...
I did sketches of how Trigger might look in a more "official" form, in a Russian sort of caftan or something, with longer hair. And then this morning...
Yeah...
Trigger doesn't really look like what he appears to be. He can change his appearance. He REALLY... looks like a sort of dragon-ish monster thing. XD With dark gray skin, pointy ears, a shock of gray hair, a tiny nose... etc. That's also why his amulet is on such a long chain - it's so it still fits when he's a monster...

And I'm TOTALLY just learning more things about this guy as I go along...

Yeah...

And I thought to myself last night "why don't I ever have cool dreams. Like if I was in Hellboy or something."
And guess whaaat? 8D
I did! XD( DREAM SEQUENCE!!! 8D )


I was still feeling emo this morning, and kept falling back asleep. I'd sit up, then just fall over. I finally got up by 1 PM, ate some cereal, watched some of those "A Haunting" shows, and kinda looked around my room. The frustration was mounting, and I had to do something before I went apeshit on something.

I got dad up at 4 like he asked, and asked if I could go for a walk. "Yeah sure."

It was that fuckin' easy?!?!

I just got outside, and it was like THANK GOD. It was so nice to get out. I could even probably go to Taco Bell or something one day. But I just walked around my block, jogged for a couple minutes, stretched, came back inside, and took a shower.

I feel 100 TIMES BETTER. XD SOOOOO much better. XD XD XD

And I've got sorta a plan for my room. I've discerned that its all either toys, craft/art supplies, books, or old school papers. That's all I fucking have in my room. XD And some art projects themselves. All I need to do now is go through it all, and come up with some sort of organizational system.
Ughhh....

But it'll get done! I know it!

WAAAAH I'm so happy to be so much more positive!!!!!!! XD XD XD